LIW has discovered Buzzfeed.

My parents bought her an iPad air (the engraving reads FOR OUR DEAREST LIW), and she’s watched Americans try Asian Snacks about 50 times. Every time she watches she turns to me and says, You’re an Asian Snack, and if my parents aren’t around I give her a good, hard pinch.

She moves on to photos of Taylor Swift and is already mostly down that rabbit hole when I suddenly get my most genius idea ever.

Hey LIW, I toss out casually. She gives me a tiny amount of side-eye, and I can tell she’s still mad about the pinching. You should have a Facebook.

Like all people who still fall into such a category, she is arrested by this siren portmanteau.

She stops sucking on her braid and turns her whole head to stare at me.

I want that, she says.

Great, I say, and quickly set up an account. It’s dope, I say, trying out the word. Make sure you poke everyone. And be very political. And talk about God constantly. You’ll have so. Many. Friends.

LIW blinks. Friends? she asks.

Oh yes, I nod. Maybe even from Wisconsin.

Her cheeks flush slightly and she goes back to sucking her braid.

She takes a profile pic of her left eyeball and I back soundlessly out of the room.