This holiday season, I’ve realized that I’m not that into it.

Not in general, just…this year. Not sure why, but I don’t feel as warm and fuzzy as I usually do. Well, hell. I know why. This past year has been more up and down than a mountain range, and with the latest horrors in the world, it can feel like life might be best spent unconscious under the covers.

But then you don’t get to see friends, and that would be sad.

So I’m okay, I guess, with not feeling the Christmas cheer this year. I am reminded daily how much I have to be grateful for, and somehow it feels unsatisfying to express that via decorating.

But I love seeing other people’s decorations, and the beautiful lights in DTLA, and I don’t totally mind the occasional holiday tune, and okay, so the food is always awesome.

Am I alone in this quasi-malaise? Others I’ve spoken to have also said they feel a little off this year. What gives, year?

C and I are about to take a big trip, and maybe that is where most of my mental and emotional energy is going. It will be the first