[wherein I type for five straight minutes stopping only when the timer goes ding]

Wow. It’s been a dog’s age since I’ve done one of these…I just happened to look at the calendar and realize what day it is.

It’s a day to be pithy.

Unfortunately, I’m fresh out of inspiration, so I will simply blob on until something catches my brain.


Burritos are a kind of perfect food. I’m a fan of anything you can eat with your hands, and since you can stuff a LOT into a giant tortilla, this means you get a kind of micro-buffet all within the comfort of your own fingers.

Years ago, I was obsessed with the veggie burrito down the street from a theatre in San Jose. Dear lord in heaven. Every day for lunch I’d trot down there, order me up a missile-sized mexican delight, and inhale it in under five minutes.

I’m not necessarily proud of this, but it does point to my often efficient use of time while eating. In general, I’ve found that breathing isn’t that important. If you take a big gulp of air before you dig in, it’ll usually do you for most of the meal. That whole concept of savoring bites goes out the window when it comes to me and burritos.

And you know, I think I’m the better person for it. The burrito can go down in history knowing it was likely part of a world-record-breaking ingestion, and I can lump back to wherever I came from, dizzy from consum