I’m definitely a social creature.
I love seeing friends, traveling, meeting people, having adventures. But also, I dearly love spending time by myself.
There was a time in my life where I feared solitude. Something about leaving a 14-year relationship will do that. But even then, part of me recognized the importance of being alone.
As a kid, I spent hours by myself reading, playing, drawing, writing. For me, there’s a kind of bliss in solitude, a change in the level of oxygen. There have been times when I’ve been drawing or painting late at night, isolated, and my heart feels like it’s going to explode.
There are still moments, as an adult, when I suddenly realize I can do anything I want. Sometimes, all that means is that I stroll into the kitchen and eat directly from the peanut butter jar. Sometimes it means I write a letter to a company whose ad campaign is racist. Sometimes it means I spend a large amount of money on something I just want. Sometimes it means I acknowledge some rather unattractive character flaws and then, dammit, try to do better next time.
Today I spent a lot of time running errands. All the stuff I couldn’t get done during the week. Fortunately, many of the errands involved shopping, and I was in the exact right mood to just amble around accomplishing things.
I’ve realized that there are very few people I can really shop with. I can go to a mall with pretty much anyone and have a good time, but if I’m really shopping, I mean scanning the racks/aisles/displays for something specific, then I’m all business. Because I take my time. I touch things a lot. I try a lot of stuff on. I ponder. I weigh. I imagine. And I don’t do well with feeling guilty for any of it.
Shopping alone is a little slice of heaven for me.
What do you enjoy doing all by yourself?