Okay, folks, so this one’s about poo.
Well, more about the fact that for some reason, most women fear the sound of public pooing more than Jack Bauer not being around in the case of world disaster. Why is this? Why do women go into a public restroom stall, shut the door, and then hover, holding their breath, waiting for the other women to leave or, thank god, flush, so they can just GO.
From what I’ve heard, the men’s room is a different story. Like, the difference between The Velveteen Rabbit and American Psycho. Men, apparently, have no such withholding issue. Nope. Men, apparently, will let go like they’re bombing the bad guys. With even, dare I say, a sense of pride.
Why? Why, ladies? Why can’t we fart and poo and not hide about it? I don’t think it’s a mystery that we all do those things. No one will or SHOULD think less of us because we do. Screw the “ladylike” nonsense…that went out long before Gaga. So….I’m going to take a stand. That’s right. It’s waaaaaaaaay more information than you’ll ever, ever need to know. But maybe, if I put it out there, other ladies will join me, in what I’m fondly beginning to think of as the Drop It Loud movement. Join me