aurora and olivia

sworn frenemies

This is Olivia and Aurora.

Let me say that again. This is Olivia and Aurora, the two cats who, until recently, could never have been photographed together. Olivia joined the family first, as a wee black smudge. Aurora followed about a year later. Now, about 13 years later, they are finally, FINALLY starting to not hate each other.

Well, that’s not accurate. Aurora, whom I’ve mentioned before, is without judgment. She is as equally unperturbed by an 80 lb Rottweiler as she is the Roomba. Really, not excitable.

Olivia, on the other hand, seems to harbor some grudge from all eight of her previous nine lives. I assume she’s on the ninth because she’s just so damn grumpy. I guess if I had to wade through nine feline existences (existenci?) I’d be in a foul mood, too. Imagine. Nine lives of litterboxes.

Anyway, here they are, sitting together. True, Aurora looks like she’s ready to bolt at any moment…perched on the edge of the futon. Olivia looks like Jabba the Hut. Picture Jabba the Hut running. Now put a cat face on him. Magic.

I discussed this bizarre resolution with some friends last night. There were various opinions…one friend thinks they may have been sun-deprived. This is possible. In the loft, the sun blasted in only for a little while in the morning. Otherwise, it was a bit of an urban cave. At our new place, all they do is bask. It’s disgusting. There I am, shoveling their cat crap out of the litterbox, and there they are, LYING DOWN.

Have you seen the images of cats who’ve been trained to go to the bathroom in the toilet?

toilet with a cat on it

aiii god

What I’m saying is, NO. Love the idea. But do you know how much energy it takes to train a cat to do this? I’m telling you, politics happens faster. Besides it being completely unsettling to find your cat doing this, what about the flushing? Nice, Whiskers, thanks for the floater.

I’m all for creative endeavors. But this makes me sullen. What do you think?

(This is my first poll, so take it very seriously.)